Another mixed day. Decent training day, ended up doing
Squat 4 x 9 - 255 most of the way
Bench Press - 3 x 5 to warm up, 4 x 4-3 with 205
Curl - 5 x 5 - 105
And that went rather well. The squats, as per usual, were the absolute hardest part of the day's training. But at the moment I've not my usual enthusiasm for describing the homeric struggle they presented.
I still just haven't made up my mind about the place I find myself in. Things are starting to come off the ground, people are recognizing me and being more positive towards me, but at the same time I am growing tired of the whole process. Whats the point in teaching those who don't want to be taught? To struggle for those who resent the struggle? And why put faith in those who would abuse that faith?
Currently waging a battle against conformity and I am determined to win it, but at the same time I wonder in the back of my head if the bastards are even worth it. Well, not only is it battling against conformity but its getting respect. As it is, sticking to my morals and principles has gotten me only derision and hatred, but I refuse to bend on matters so important to me, so I just plod forward along a path with no apparent reward and with mainly the scorn of others to keep me company. I knew this was going to happen, the great masters wrote of it constantly, I just didn't realize how true that segment of their writings were.
In the end, this quest isn't about them, its about me. I am trying to further myself spiritually, and the journey of my spirit is currently heavily tied in with my training. Whether or not anyone else gets it is inconsequential, I get it, and I am pursuing it no matter what.